peeling skin like peeling banana

there's something really wrong with me. My face was burning yesterday and it started peeling. it's like so sudden lor. then now like red red. I NEED A DERMATOLOGIST! it's so gross.

then this morning my hands started peeling too. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! how how how????

computer idiot

i guess im really a computer idiot after all. there's jus so much stuff i need to learn!

even simple things like making e comments column under each post to changing the font size of the tagboard i only managed to learn it like now? after 3 years of blogging? -.-

oh gosh. cant take it anymore.

mundane life

life has been pretty mundane these days.. hm.. at least for me i guess.. as i anticipate eagerly for the arrival of 090408. argh. kinda bothered by this date as days draw nearer..

i told myself i'll use this 3 free months to learn photoshop, photography, manga drawing, doing up my own blogskin etc etc but sadly, very sadly, i havent done any of the above. thinking of that it's been ages since i did some physical education. urgh.

a good digicam costs also ard $700 for a relatively good one, photoshop costs like $690, a manga drawing book is costly as well. worse, without photoshop = no blogskin. urgh. no choice, gotta do sth jus to kill some time. so ta-da! my new blogskin's up. ahaha. it's like love on first sight. even my bro likes it! woah.. he's someone who doesn't like such stuff so i guess it must be pretty eye-catching for him to like it huh..

and i've found 2 songs which i pretty much like and i've kinds decided to post the chinese one first. oh gosh! i jus so admire stefanie sun. lucky girl.



雨天
孙燕姿

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走
我却只想回头
除了你给的伞
我再也没有
别的借口
去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些
大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

牵手和分手
来自同一双手
作回朋友
我却悔恨不懂挽留

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些
大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

是否太晚 路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯 你都了解
过去那些
大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅
我的雨天
此刻脚步 会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

i'm jus wondering where on earth does she actually find the "feel" to sing such songs. haha. it's like so emotional and so lotsa-feel. haha.

P.S.if anyone who actually reads my pathetic blog, who has any kids, cousins, etc who's interested in chinese, chem, bio, maths perhaps tuition, may wanna intro 1 or 2 to me. thanks!

what i want in life

i guess it's always good to have someone older who looks after you. like an elder brother or sth. i never have that chance though. geez.

university talks weren't of much help. i'm reluctant myself to actually get into university. i always thought that by entering a jc, there were 2 extra years for me to think what i want to become. but that 2 years wasn't of much help either. i figured out recently that i've been running away from reality ever since i've decided to get into jc and im back to square one. the thought of living an aimless life for the last 18 years scares me. my future had been arranged by my parents ever since i was young so much so that i've lost the instinct to make my own life choices.

many decisions that i tried making turned out worse than i thought and i've been desensitised to make yet another decision on my own.. when can i ever get out of my own defenses to achieve what i want in life? i don't know.

perhaps another adam khoo workshop could help...


我不想再当一只没主见的井底之蛙了。。。

frustrations

i dun feel happy at all. like something is missing. my brain feels so empty but my heart feels so heavy. the devil and angel had been playing tricks on me ever since judgement day last fri. at times, i feel i didnt make the wrong choice, and that for the amount of efforts i've put in, the results that turned out was already better than expected. but on the other hand, the devil's telling me that i should blame the ppl ard me, the environment, the tchers and everyone else ard me. then again, the question since others can do it, why can't i keeps reverberating inside my mind. like nightmares after nightmares after nightmares.

the more ppl encourages me, the more ppl say that i did well, the more pathetic i felt i was. like are they saying the truth? are they mocking at me? are they trying to be sacrastic? even my parents doesn't understand me at all. my mum had been forcing me to make decisions that she wants, not sth which i want. she thinks she knows everything but she doesn't. she don't even know after 2 years of my entire f*cked up JC life, what i am actually studying. she still thinks i studied H2 Econs and Maths and H1 Bio in JC. Omgosh. i've told her at least 5 times. aren't i pathetic.

if that's not pathetic enough, she has been forcing me to go into engineering saying that there's a better job prospect in the future. come on, if i wanted to be an engineer, i'd hav taken physics in JC. she's not helping at all, jus adding to my frustrations.

im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im a pathetic soul.im pathetic.

shit life

shitty results = shitty brain = shitty me

judgement day

No more agony and waits for it's here this friday.
http://www.moe.gov.sg/press/2008/pr20080303.htm

surprisingly, no one actually went ga-ga over it on their blogs.

电视感受

原本想把埋怨发泄在博客上，后来想想其实把我昨晚看电视的一些感受放上来反而更有意义。

昨晚在看优频道的综艺大哥大后，我正在看新闻过后便转台到八频道。我不晓得那节目的名称。虽然只看了那最后五分钟，但感受却很多，突然就涌了上来，泪水在眼眶中打转。

记者访问了一些孤苦伶仃的老人，他们无依无靠，没有子女，或被子女抛弃。令我印象深刻的是备受方的一位阿麽。她行动不方便，自己没办法工作，靠的市政府每个月给的200多元养老金，扣掉房租40元和水电费100多元，剩下的也只有100元那么多。靠着这100元，她需要省吃俭用。鳉鱼仔和几根菜煮汤能让她吃上一天。随着消费税的提高，许多日常用品，吃的，喝的，也跟着提高。每天花多50毛，一块，一个月就得花多30块左右。对她来说经济上的负担越来越重但却无能为力。唯一能做得也只有吃少一天，用少一些。

令我感到心酸并不是这些。阿麽关心的并不是开销大，而是她本身的生后事。“我都已经这样老了，谁会要我。” “我不怕死。每个人也要经历一次，只是早跟晚而已。” 她受访时那伤心的样子还深深地印在我脑海里。虽然她嘴里说不怕死，但我知道她心里是多么的害怕，害怕自己一个人，静静的，孤零零的，离开这世界。她还得托人帮她办理自己的生后事。“死后将摆三天的裳事，能让人来坐坐，看看我一下。自己会出一点钱，买一些包子和冲一包茶好让客人来坐坐时有东西吃。第三天，把我给烧（火化）了，就这样。搞定。” 我看了之后，眼泪不由知几的留了下来。一方面是让我想起的已经过世的外婆，另一方面也让我领悟到原来社会上仍然有很多很多的人，需要我们的关怀，帮助。看了电视后，忽然有一种冲动，很想马上冲进电视里去帮助那位阿么。我坐在那儿泣不成声，身体也不听使唤的颤抖着。

我知道很多人都认为我是一个cry baby，什么都流泪，但处了哭，我不知道应该如何接受一些突如其来的情绪变化。虽然心里有很多感触想和大家分享，但我写不下去了。虽然如此，我想从今以后，我一定会去珍惜我身边所有所有的人，因为我知道，一旦失去了就再也找不到了。

dreaming of A level results

it's hard to believe but i dreamt of A level results day again.

scene 1
i sms eileen asking her how she did.
supposedly she did well cos she say she'd treat me to a drink. muahahaha

scene 2
i saw jian xiong, shu heng and eugene law in the dream!! they were sitting in the hall and eugene law was like jumping jumping hoping to get the results soon then suddenly changed scene

scene 3
cant rmb =.=

then again, i just woke up after scene 3. ahh. it's so torturing can.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt