爱和关怀

“懂得感恩才会幸福”

原来当你感受到大家所给予的爱和关怀时，无论是吃什么、喝什么，你都会觉得好甜好甜。。。

P.S. 我是幸福的！

CHRISTMAS DISASTER!

I attempted sth out of the norm and FAILED terribly. :(

As we all know, Christmas's coming! And in this season of joy and sharing, I thought I'd come out with something to surprise someone who's gonna take my present. I went to shop happily for some containers which I thought was really cute and "practical" for use.

But containers themselves look so plain, so, I thought I'd fill it up with some stuff. Sand... No, it'll spoil the container... Sweets... Looks cheapo esp when there's a price cap on the presents you're giving =.= (Money = sincerity? =.=)

Anyway, the best alternative I could think of was to bake cookies! Why? Sincerity is one thing, if it's tasty, it's another :) I don't have the money but my sweat and hard work should make up for it. So I got on to work. I spent so much on all the necessities, I blew a BIG hole in my pocket and got a terrible scolding by my parents but I told myself, this is something I've always wanted to do and no one's gonna stop me. This might be the last time I have the time to "make" gifts myself before hectic life kicks in. :(

I went around asking to see if someone could teach me but unfortunately, they're too busy. Got my brother to teach me but he ended up playing MAPLE. -.-'''

Nvm, I'd do it myself. Everything went well. I enjoyed the mixing of flour with butter and egg and chocolate chips...And I sent it into the oven.
Look! Aren't they appetizing just by looking at it??

Until these happened...................................






At least 10 attempts =.= but still failed....

End Product:


That's not the worse... Smoke was bellowing out of the oven like there's no tomorrow~! Try spotting the smoke.............................

Jesus Christ! I thought. I might as well try using the microwave instead. And ended up breaking 2 plates, causing electric sparks to fly around inside the microwave oven (due to the aluminum foil I used to wrap the plate - no one told me that i can't microwave metals!!!), and created a mess which i spent an hour to clean up :( Look...

*Spot the part of the plate that has "chipped off" and flew up the microwave (Hint: Top left cookie)
*And this plate broke into 2!! =.=
End Product:

Lesson Learnt: Don't be too AMBITIOUS! It's hard to be Mr Nice guy. Really. You might end up losing more than what others think while attempting to be Mr Nice. I therefore conclude from this cookie baking session that one has to balance between things. It's good to be cheapo sometimes to those who don't seem to appreciate the hard work you've put in. But on the other hand, I'll keep trying to bake better cookies to my beloved friends and family members, those who really mean so much to me.

DESPERATE

EUGENE IS VERY DESPERATE FOR:

1. AN MP3 WITH VOICE RECORDER

2. SENNHEISER EARPHONES

Interesting week

A few interesting things happened this week.

First, I met Mrs Lau SB at Queensway Shopping Centre during lunch. Together with her was her daughter. Anyway, they went there to shop for sport shoes for her daughter but my funny friend actually introduced Timberland BOOTS to her. ROFL.

One of our superior also had a Myocardial Infraction due to blockage of 3 of the 4 blood vessels in the heart and had to undergo an angioplasty. We paid a visit to him and apparently he was discharged for a few days before ending up in the hospital again due to some complications called hematoma. For him, blood was collected at the groin area which he described as "being kicked in the balls during a soccer game and touching it the next day". Anyway, lesson learnt: Stay healthy! And also CME which benefited us although they're more meant for the medics.

We had this PCC night cohesion at East Coast where everyone was forced to drink - Whiskey, Matel, beer, wine, u name it, the superiors have it. We were "ordered" to drink by our BIG heads so LLST, gotta bottoms up. I realised I get energetic instead of tired after a drink. Weird indeed. YZ got chased by a dog, Ian got drunk after the 2nd (plastic) cup and we had a good time laughing our asses off at someone. Even our own direct superior joined in.

Then, went crazy shopping with ting today for 6 hours, thereabout.

I'm totally dead beat. I need sleeeeeeeep!

只想说声对不起

原来，说声“对不起”，真的好难。。。

PATHETIC

All that I'm left is $2 in my bank account. That's how bad things are now.

不敢

“有时候，我们不敢为自己谋求职位、不敢学小提琴、不敢学习外语，甚至不敢打通电话给末位老朋友。这种种“不敢”，其实都只是我们为自己设下的障碍，而这种无中生有的障碍，常使我们囊步不前，错过了许多我们本来应该去做而能够做好的事。”|《世界最著名的黄金定律》

HOT!

OMFG!!! I've got to share this!



In awe~~~~~~~~~~~~ WOW!!!

BRAVO to HTC! Rock on!!!

Happy Birthday to myself :)

A special thanks to all the birthday wishes i received, whether it was via msn, facebook or msn, thanks so much!! At least I know I'm not forgotten :D

Anyway, it's weird somehow, haha, cos this year I dare to say I received 100-200% more of birthday wishes than in previous years (thanks to technology). It's not exactly a lot compared to other friends but to me, that spike was something to rejoice about!!

Birthday was fun. Didn't throw any lavish parties which I intended to and was emo-ing, thinking that it's gonna be a super quiet birthday this year - again.

I was taking a lazy afternoon nap the whole time when suddenly I heard music coming from my doorstep. It was a really pleasant surprise because my 3rd uncle brought his sons over who played "Happy Birthday" song at my doorstep using their musical instruments (they are music talents, ok?). The sons gave me a birthday present too!

Then, my uncle left his sons here and left out to get a car to drive us to my grandma's house and came back with a cake! OMGOSH. 感动。

I changed into the set of new clothes I bought for myself and then left with my family and uncle to my grandma's house. I received red packets from my grandma, aunt and 2nd uncle. Then, my dad went to buy another chocolate cake for me!! 2 cakes for me, one green tea and one chocolate! Haha! And 2 large candles each, making me a good 40 years old. Heez. But I insisted the 2nd cake for my dad since his birthday is just 2 days away from mine.

We played finger games, XBox, used the computer, took lotsa of photos, etc, leaving me very happy and deadbeat at the end of the day. Haha.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, PEOPLE!

Rejoice~! I'm 20! (And 1/3 into my grave...? Hm...)

I GOT MY FREAKING PHONE WORKING AT LAST!

I can't imagine life without technology. Jus a few freaking days without my phone seems like eons to me. Damn it.

If anyone's getting enlisted and needs to get a non-camera phone, don't go to People's Park there and get because "it's cheaper there". When your phone spoils, u can't bring it to a Nokia or Sony Ericson or any service centres to get it repaired because "it's for exports only". God damn.

And because of that, I have to go around looking for a second hand non-camera phone just to get me through the next few months. I'm currently using a LG phone instead and I'm having a terrible time because the sensitivity SUCK. Using my previous Nokia phone was a breeze - whatever I type it'll show almost immediately on the screen but for this phone, it registers one alphabet by one alphabet at any one time. When I've finished typing the entire msg, only half the msg is shown and the letters at the back are appearing one by one.

But what to do, just make do lor. Got phone better then no phone to use. Blah.

Happy 20th!

Jas! Happy Birthday!
__________________________________________________________________________

马德里不思议 突然的想念你
彩绘玻璃前的身影 只有孤单变浓郁
马德里不思议 突然那麽想念你
我带着爱抒情的远行

Apologises

I was flipping through my friend's book when I came across this phrase that set me thinking and reflecting once more. It states something like "Mistakes which are repeated becomes habits which cannot be easily corrected."

This leads me to think of another phrase which I came across some years back. It is said that thoughts turn into beliefs; beliefs become actions; actions form habits; habits shape character; and character defines destiny.

A sudden rush of adrenaline ran through my bloodstream and this sense of guilt overwhelmed me.

My parents had been reminding me relentlessly that I need to change my short-tempered and rash behaviour that I have. I always viewed it as an inheritance from my mother and have always attributed this attitude as a result of my condition. I've always take their advise lightly thinking that there's nothing wrong with my character and this persisted on for a number of years (i think).

And in the entire process, I must admit I have hurt a lot of people, including my closest loved ones like my grandmother. Just like last week, I boomed and fired my grandmother just because she came to advise me not to quarrel with my brother. This, is a really small thing, but I made a mountain out of it.

Something's wrong with me, but I don't know what. I went for my counselling session as usual and decided for the first time after so many sessions to finally pour out everything, every problem which I am facing. I told my counsellor that I always thought I am right, that whatever I'm doing is right. I cited a few examples, mostly failed relationships with my family, my friends and even my (once) closest friends.

And she gave me only one sentence

"Change, if your actions are hurting everyone around you."

And that rang a bell in my ears. My actions have inevitably caused misery to so many people around me. I've moved on. Right, I did but how about those that are around me, that I have inflicted pain upon. Can they move on? Are they able to move on?

Will they accept my apologises if i apologise? Is it too late for apologies? I want so much in my heart and mind to apologise. But how?

That's the question.

A poem to myself

Just as I was emo-ing and feeling all alone, this clip gave me a small glimpse of hope. It felt so close to my heart. I was feeling exactly like the guy in the video.

The alarm rings, and your ear hurts.
With your mind spinning, you're going to work.
The world brushes past you without you knowing,
Time ticks by before you knowing.

It's a new week ahead,
As the vicious cycle heads,
Some things go wrong,
But some gives you motivation to go on.

When that motivation disappears,
Opportunities pass and never appears.
The world moves on,
You're forced to move on.

You can't find comfort in anything,
Or anyone.
You are your only source of solutions,
Believing in your own notions.

But God is always fair,
Just like he is unfair.
No one has to be there,
To see how you have fared.

When shit happens,
you ain't sure why.
Misunderstanding arises,
you don't know why.

To be angry for what you do,
I shall,
To be angry with you,
I shall not.

If the time comes, I'd still do it,
For inside of me, I know it's right to do it.
For if you are right, I will fight for you,
If you are wrong, I'd fight with you.

Treasure friendships instead of rift it.
Treasure life instead of break it.
Misunderstandings are cleared when you understand it.
Miracles happen when you believe it.

To salvage this friendship,
I will try,
To lose that friendship,
I will cry.

72mins 31sec 22milli-sec

- Random thoughts - they just don't stop coming.

~~~


"Know me for what I do and for not what I am.
Judge me for what I can do and not for what I have done." -PRAVS J

You are the pillar that I've been drawing strength from.
You are the foundation of my stable structure.
You are the one who has always been reaching out to the passive me.

Just want to say, thanks for everything,
From the bottom of my heart.

Colours

I've realised that my "favourite" colour has been changing. Some colours I like can last for a day, sometimes a month, sometimes even a year!

See how my favourite colours have changed.

Cheerful Yellow -> Sophisticated Purple -> Innocent White -> Intense Red -> Masculine Green -> Loyal Blue

Cool huh?

What's your favourite colour now?

BOOM

I'm feeling damn f**ked up now. The world seem to be opposing with me.

First, I applied 5 days leave with sth on my mind. And then suddenly, the guy called the day b4 to cancel it. Fine. I thought I'd use these 5 days to do sth meaningful.

And for the first day, I made my way to Chinatown to get some budget household items and then celebrated KC's last day b4 his enlistment. Yipee, I thought, task fulfilled.

My mum made a big exclamation about wanting to bring my bro and I to make passport. Yea. I thought. At least my 2nd day's meaningful. Who knows?! It only took less then 15mins. And to add on to that, my bro freaking came late. By 1 hour! And the ICA building closed. So, ended up rotting at home again.

3rd day, thought today would be better but end up, rotting again. J asked me out to COMEX. We met up, went to meet K and then left for Suntec. J and K suggested me and my grand make our way to the escalator and wait for them while they head to look for S. Time crawled while waiting. Finally a call came to tell me they were waiting for S to look through the brochures. Fine, I shouldn't get angry. So, I brought my grand to walk around. After our rounds, they're still not done. Hmmm... No phone call.

Picks up phone and dials J's no.

(too...too...too.................................) no answer.

I got to go, I told myself. This is getting meaningless. I smsed J.

"Hey, I bring my grand home. You guys go ahead."

BUZZ BUZZ "U not joining us?"

"I thought you going club?"

............................

"Where are you all now? I bring her to the MRT then go back join u all. U nt going club right?"

............................

............................

............................

"Urgh. Nvm. U guys go ahead"

(Disturbed, Switch off phone, make way home.)

(Reached home.) BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Had a huge fight with parents.

-END OF STORY-
______________________________________________________________
Thanks for the wasted leave, Z. I'll nv go n work 4 u agn. RMB.

human nature

And when those trials come, my human nature shouts the things to do, and God's soft prompting, can be easily ignored...

Friendship? Think about that.

I'm jealous. At the same time angry with myself. I suck at human relations. My heart get swayed so easily. While some others are having fun joining their classmates/camp mates/ etc, I'm here spending time alone, pondering over many failed relationships, hoping to find answers, but failed. Terribly.

But one thing is for sure, at least I know friends like KC and KY are still there, waiting for me to open up, reach out, befriend with them once again after losing contact for some time. I know people start questioning me and pointing fingers at me saying that I never do enough to reach out to them, speak up, etc and I expected that coming. It hurts raking up my past. I try my best to move on. And so far, I'm only prepared to take baby steps.

However, it was KC/KY who pulled me out of where I was from and gave me directions towards friendship and life. Life is a very shitty game but its graphics are amazing. Indeed, we paint our lives with colours we want but we need a second pair of eyes at times to judge our masterpiece, and teaching us how we should improve from there. For that, I thank them for playing that role, guiding me all these while, never giving up, never forgetting me, never forgetting my presence.

I am an introvert since young and I love to stay at home. The way I am brought up, the circumstances I was put into shaped me into the character I have today. I dislike that character but its really hard (trust me) to really try and change asap. There have been setbacks, there are times when I try too hard but end up with nothing and there are times when I wished I am invisible. But I know now that at least these 2 people know me well enough to help me change, at least a little. They try to pull me out for gatherings whenever they can, whether it's for a simple swimming session for 2 hrs to simple lunch/dinner or even an hour on the chat line.

Isn't that how friends should be? We complement for each other's weaknesses, we give each other support from the heart, we help each other improve, we analyse each other's problems, find possible solutions, we cry, laugh, go through shit, share experiences with each other, not a lot but at least a little to hold the conversation and understand each other better, rather than get all busy with work, with other social gatherings, immensing ourselves in self-improvement and studies and neglect the closest people beside you.

Food for thought, perhaps?

"Making every minute count"

I was flipping through the straits times and came across this article under the "think" column. A quote which I felt had an impact on me was that "Living life on a knife's edge allows one to enjoy the present moment fully and not worry what the next moment will bring." This is so true in today's context where we always take things for granted.

Interestingly, the "think" column had also sparked a debate over whether or not PRs should serve the nation...

Also, under the "home" section, look out for the special report on the death of privacy! it's part of Science and Technology and is one of the HOT topics for GP essays... Good for those taking GP. Have a look at it. :)

Some random thoughts to end my post...

"啊! 多么痛的领悟 你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步
都走得好孤独..."

weight loss

I really need to lose weight... I gained about 6kg in just like 2 mths??? Oh, what the hell!

Miracle

My carefree days are gonna be over in about 26 hrs. Guess I'll just have to take it and see what happens next.

Miracles do happen, right?