Thursday, October 29, 2009
不敢
“有时候，我们不敢为自己谋求职位、不敢学小提琴、不敢学习外语，甚至不敢打通电话给末位老朋友。这种种“不敢”，其实都只是我们为自己设下的障碍，而这种无中生有的障碍，常使我们囊步不前，错过了许多我们本来应该去做而能够做好的事。”|《世界最著名的黄金定律》
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Happy Birthday to myself :)
A special thanks to all the birthday wishes i received, whether it was via msn, facebook or msn, thanks so much!! At least I know I'm not forgotten :D
Anyway, it's weird somehow, haha, cos this year I dare to say I received 100-200% more of birthday wishes than in previous years (thanks to technology). It's not exactly a lot compared to other friends but to me, that spike was something to rejoice about!!
Birthday was fun. Didn't throw any lavish parties which I intended to and was emo-ing, thinking that it's gonna be a super quiet birthday this year - again.
I was taking a lazy afternoon nap the whole time when suddenly I heard music coming from my doorstep. It was a really pleasant surprise because my 3rd uncle brought his sons over who played "Happy Birthday" song at my doorstep using their musical instruments (they are music talents, ok?). The sons gave me a birthday present too!
Then, my uncle left his sons here and left out to get a car to drive us to my grandma's house and came back with a cake! OMGOSH. 感动。
I changed into the set of new clothes I bought for myself and then left with my family and uncle to my grandma's house. I received red packets from my grandma, aunt and 2nd uncle. Then, my dad went to buy another chocolate cake for me!! 2 cakes for me, one green tea and one chocolate! Haha! And 2 large candles each, making me a good 40 years old. Heez. But I insisted the 2nd cake for my dad since his birthday is just 2 days away from mine.
We played finger games, XBox, used the computer, took lotsa of photos, etc, leaving me very happy and deadbeat at the end of the day. Haha.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, PEOPLE!
Rejoice~! I'm 20! (And 1/3 into my grave...? Hm...)
Anyway, it's weird somehow, haha, cos this year I dare to say I received 100-200% more of birthday wishes than in previous years (thanks to technology). It's not exactly a lot compared to other friends but to me, that spike was something to rejoice about!!
Birthday was fun. Didn't throw any lavish parties which I intended to and was emo-ing, thinking that it's gonna be a super quiet birthday this year - again.
I was taking a lazy afternoon nap the whole time when suddenly I heard music coming from my doorstep. It was a really pleasant surprise because my 3rd uncle brought his sons over who played "Happy Birthday" song at my doorstep using their musical instruments (they are music talents, ok?). The sons gave me a birthday present too!
Then, my uncle left his sons here and left out to get a car to drive us to my grandma's house and came back with a cake! OMGOSH. 感动。
I changed into the set of new clothes I bought for myself and then left with my family and uncle to my grandma's house. I received red packets from my grandma, aunt and 2nd uncle. Then, my dad went to buy another chocolate cake for me!! 2 cakes for me, one green tea and one chocolate! Haha! And 2 large candles each, making me a good 40 years old. Heez. But I insisted the 2nd cake for my dad since his birthday is just 2 days away from mine.
We played finger games, XBox, used the computer, took lotsa of photos, etc, leaving me very happy and deadbeat at the end of the day. Haha.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, PEOPLE!
Rejoice~! I'm 20! (And 1/3 into my grave...? Hm...)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I GOT MY FREAKING PHONE WORKING AT LAST!
I can't imagine life without technology. Jus a few freaking days without my phone seems like eons to me. Damn it.
If anyone's getting enlisted and needs to get a non-camera phone, don't go to People's Park there and get because "it's cheaper there". When your phone spoils, u can't bring it to a Nokia or Sony Ericson or any service centres to get it repaired because "it's for exports only". God damn.
And because of that, I have to go around looking for a second hand non-camera phone just to get me through the next few months. I'm currently using a LG phone instead and I'm having a terrible time because the sensitivity SUCK. Using my previous Nokia phone was a breeze - whatever I type it'll show almost immediately on the screen but for this phone, it registers one alphabet by one alphabet at any one time. When I've finished typing the entire msg, only half the msg is shown and the letters at the back are appearing one by one.
But what to do, just make do lor. Got phone better then no phone to use. Blah.
If anyone's getting enlisted and needs to get a non-camera phone, don't go to People's Park there and get because "it's cheaper there". When your phone spoils, u can't bring it to a Nokia or Sony Ericson or any service centres to get it repaired because "it's for exports only". God damn.
And because of that, I have to go around looking for a second hand non-camera phone just to get me through the next few months. I'm currently using a LG phone instead and I'm having a terrible time because the sensitivity SUCK. Using my previous Nokia phone was a breeze - whatever I type it'll show almost immediately on the screen but for this phone, it registers one alphabet by one alphabet at any one time. When I've finished typing the entire msg, only half the msg is shown and the letters at the back are appearing one by one.
But what to do, just make do lor. Got phone better then no phone to use. Blah.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Happy 20th!
Jas! Happy Birthday!
__________________________________________________________________________
马德里不思议 突然的想念你
彩绘玻璃前的身影 只有孤单变浓郁
马德里不思议 突然那麽想念你
我带着爱抒情的远行
Monday, October 5, 2009
Apologises
I was flipping through my friend's book when I came across this phrase that set me thinking and reflecting once more. It states something like "Mistakes which are repeated becomes habits which cannot be easily corrected."
This leads me to think of another phrase which I came across some years back. It is said that thoughts turn into beliefs; beliefs become actions; actions form habits; habits shape character; and character defines destiny.
A sudden rush of adrenaline ran through my bloodstream and this sense of guilt overwhelmed me.
My parents had been reminding me relentlessly that I need to change my short-tempered and rash behaviour that I have. I always viewed it as an inheritance from my mother and have always attributed this attitude as a result of my condition. I've always take their advise lightly thinking that there's nothing wrong with my character and this persisted on for a number of years (i think).
And in the entire process, I must admit I have hurt a lot of people, including my closest loved ones like my grandmother. Just like last week, I boomed and fired my grandmother just because she came to advise me not to quarrel with my brother. This, is a really small thing, but I made a mountain out of it.
Something's wrong with me, but I don't know what. I went for my counselling session as usual and decided for the first time after so many sessions to finally pour out everything, every problem which I am facing. I told my counsellor that I always thought I am right, that whatever I'm doing is right. I cited a few examples, mostly failed relationships with my family, my friends and even my (once) closest friends.
And she gave me only one sentence
Will they accept my apologises if i apologise? Is it too late for apologies? I want so much in my heart and mind to apologise. But how?
That's the question.
This leads me to think of another phrase which I came across some years back. It is said that thoughts turn into beliefs; beliefs become actions; actions form habits; habits shape character; and character defines destiny.
A sudden rush of adrenaline ran through my bloodstream and this sense of guilt overwhelmed me.
My parents had been reminding me relentlessly that I need to change my short-tempered and rash behaviour that I have. I always viewed it as an inheritance from my mother and have always attributed this attitude as a result of my condition. I've always take their advise lightly thinking that there's nothing wrong with my character and this persisted on for a number of years (i think).
And in the entire process, I must admit I have hurt a lot of people, including my closest loved ones like my grandmother. Just like last week, I boomed and fired my grandmother just because she came to advise me not to quarrel with my brother. This, is a really small thing, but I made a mountain out of it.
Something's wrong with me, but I don't know what. I went for my counselling session as usual and decided for the first time after so many sessions to finally pour out everything, every problem which I am facing. I told my counsellor that I always thought I am right, that whatever I'm doing is right. I cited a few examples, mostly failed relationships with my family, my friends and even my (once) closest friends.
And she gave me only one sentence
"Change, if your actions are hurting everyone around you."And that rang a bell in my ears. My actions have inevitably caused misery to so many people around me. I've moved on. Right, I did but how about those that are around me, that I have inflicted pain upon. Can they move on? Are they able to move on?
Will they accept my apologises if i apologise? Is it too late for apologies? I want so much in my heart and mind to apologise. But how?
That's the question.
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