我活在这世上已经快二十一年了,也走过了好多风风雨雨,三分之一的生命就这样飘过了。
我做过了什么?我错过了什么?我想,只有自己知道吧。
最令我遗憾的也许只有一样吧 - 那就是友情。
想不相信真得有你们,但我长这么大,真正可以称为“好朋友”的,也许连一只手也数得完。外表看起来疯疯癫癫,嘻嘻哈哈,乐观开朗的我,原来也会遇到如此可悲的事情。就连一些原本能成为好朋友的人,都可能因为我的一些不正常的行为举止,或其他莫名其妙的缘故,突然跟我疏远了。
之前经历过第一次时,我只有自己猜想,或许是因为我的为人或品格太臭了,所以才会在较有时遇上了阻碍。我当时用了好一段时间才说服了自己,跌倒了要站起来。加上当时,大病在身,所以用了更长的时间,从中走了出来。
最近,也阴擦阳搓地遇上了一位非常谈得来的朋友。在和他交谈时,我感到很舒服,好像一位多年不见的朋友,能滔滔不绝地谈个不停。我因为上一次的经历,所以在交友方面有了防备,好不容易才决定让自己式着与他深交朋友,也告诉自己,这一次一定要用一个比较随行,为人讨好的一个态度,去对待这段友谊。一切都很顺利,直到一个月后吧,我或许是感情弄事,或希望能过找人诉苦,或是希望能够和好朋友一样,有所不谈,切磋或吸取意见,发简讯的次数也不知不觉地上升了。原本会回应的他,突然就不理不睬了,见面时也很难像刚认识是那样谈得来。我竭尽所能,希望使者找出原因,但还是失败了,得到的也只有沉默和空虚。
但我是一个非常珍惜,也害怕失去友谊的一人,所以也希望多做一些事情来弥补我可能犯过的过错,但也应为经历有限,所以无能为力。
唯一能做得也只是,在背后继续默默的支持他们,希望他们过得好,也为自己下定决心,以行动来证明,我真得很需要你们的。听到“勇气”是好希望有机会鼓起勇气,在电台或电视等,说出我的这番真心话,但我也不是什么大明星,所以也可能永远没这个机会。当然,我不能因此而放弃,就像我不能放弃你们和我之间的缘分一样,说一决定,在我入房睡觉前,能把想说的话记录下来,希望有机会时,能够把他表示和表达出来。
To V and YQ, if you ever see this, read this, heard of this somehow, someday, I really really hope to say a BIG SORRY to you guys that if, due to some clashes in views, misunderstandings or actions, I really hope to be friends, close friends with you guys again. I really have no other intentions or intentions in the first place to cause so much distress. I beg for your forgiveness. Give me some time to prove to you, to show you guys, who I really am, and not continue to let you guys to have any wrong impressions of me. I'm a human being too, I have emotions, and I do and still need your care and attention too. I will learn to be more understanding, more sensitive when dealing with issues, and make that a promise to you guys, because you guys are important to me, in each and every way. I'm really regretful for what had happened, and will do anything to amend for any mistakes, just to get our friendship back on track. Once again, I'm very, very sorry and remorseful. I don't mean to be an asshole, or a stalker but these are really words that I want to express.
Everything that I mean to say and explain, really, is
如果我的坚强任性 会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒 我虽然心太急 更害怕错过你
what the lyric is all about. I'm still thinking of you people, to be in my life again, to be friends again, if you can give me that chance. That is my pact to you guys.
God, please, hear me, hear my prayers, and let that day come soon. Amen.
Yours sincerely,
Eugene
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