current state

i'm not feeling better. the giddy spells keep coming on and off as usual. so i actually headed down to see a chinese physician (sinseh) today with my grandmother. the diagnosis: "cold" and weak stomach and intestines. low blood pressure. have to avoid oily, deep fried food, soft drinks or cold desserts, nuts and cookies. then she prescribed a whole list of herbs for me and i have to take it for 2 weeks, 3 times per week, 2 dosage per time.

anyway, met jian xiong on the way back followed by bryan. one's tall and one's handsome. what can i say? ha. perhaps im intermediate ;P. anyway, bryan's working at the student care centre which john used to work.

jian xiong actually reads my blog! haha. at least something which he asked me actually shows he read it closely. right, i've floaters in my eyes, both of them. it's a fact and it's not going to go away. it's rather ironic for there's no cure for it at the moment (hopefully there is in e near future) and it ususally happens to myopic with degrees higher than 500. yep.i jus dun wanna remember those haunting memories of them anymore so dun bother asking me why i developed those stuff for i also don't know.

back to my main post. wanted to blog sth which i didnt get the chance to cos my com crashed a few days ago and i jus cant start it. the problem keeps recurring signalling that perhaps it's time to get a new computer. anyway, i've actually thought through alot, even in my dreams that perhaps if i dun do well this time for the BIG As, it's due to my pure laziness and the lack of self-motivation. but luckily, after pondering over it over the last few days while i was lying in bed, i realised actually deep down in my heart i still want to be a teacher. those pianist thing, singer thing is just a want and not a need. it's just some temporarily thoughts that gets in the way every now and then. so this time if i really really really cannot make it, i'm considering retaking it. it's sth which i must do to achieve what i wanted. something which is practical and of use.

something that happened today made me even more sure of it. the auntie over at the counter at the physician centre actually said she had a daughter my age and she was so happy when she heard i went to a jc over a poly. i just found what she said was so impactful. she kept encouraging me to go to university. she beemed from ear to ear and my ah ma was like so proud of it. haha. yep. so from now on, whatever i do, i must put in my 101% for i know there are ppl who still encourages and cares for me out there who feels happy for me even when they dun say so. i must not let my family members down. GAMBETTE, EUGENE , GAMBETTE!

dizzy spell's back. got to go. :)