OFF

I know I shouldn't fall back into my emo mood but there are some stuff which I feel I need to voice it out.

To be honest, I was quite thrilled when DY S1 gave me an off today as an encouragement so that I can make zero mistakes in the BRO. But after thking over it, somehow I feel I dun deserve it at all.

I tried all ways to cut down on all my MA and stuff so that my work wont get affected. I've shifted most of my MA to sat and managed to only have 1 MA this month which falls on a wkday. But I had a 2 days MC just last wk due to my burning 38 degree fever. Jus so happened the MA falls on the MC day so I rushed a cab to SGH and back which costed me about $20+. If I dun attend the MA, the next available appt date is next FEB which is quite ridiculous because this appt was supposed to be in June but I shifted it cos I have too many MAs to attend to. Fortunately, I got discharged from ENT for my ear imbalance already and I dun hav to go back.

But then again, after deducting the 2 days MC and 1 day of leave, effectively I've only done less 20 BRO. 10 mistakes for that little number of BRO is actually a lot. So when Sir decided to gimme an off for it, he contemplated for awhile before making the decision, the same contemplation I had before I agreed on his offer last mth. His intention was to build up my confidence but on the other hand I knew it was an unfair deal bcos of my MA and also because I would definitely exceed the 10 mistakes but since his intentions were good, I decided to accept his challenge - not so much for that off but more bcos I wanted to see if I could do it.

Obviously, I did but I dun extremely delighted or excited about it. For that short 10s when he gave me the off I did feel excited and a the same time very thankful for it but after thking, I really dun deserve it. But after thking over it over and over again, I respect his decision. And I know he definitely had done a lot of thking before he decided to give it to me.

In return, I shall make sure that after I accepted his offer, I shall continue to work even harder to make sure I do not make any more mistakes in the BRO, making that off worth it. One off day for a perfect BRO in the days to come is definitely not wasted and I shall challenge myself to do just that.

*It'll all get better in time.