心有余而力不足

I don't know what's gotten into me but I'm back being all emo. Perhaps, it's bcos of the financial situation I'm in now. Perhaps, it's bcos I've got nothing better to do and my brain's rotting. Perhaps, it's bcos I told myself never to dream again becos fulfilling dreams are like investments, the more you invest in, the closer you get. But what if you don't have the means? Dreams will be just dreams.

Instead of being upset over having a dream, why not just give it up and conform to life? How bad can being like any other child in the street be? Eat, study, sleep, get a job, get married, retire and then wait for your time to come. Not having dreams would mean not having something that needs to be done and if you don't have to achieve it, it also means you'll leave this earth with regrets when time comes. Isn't that wonderful?

This is my 3rd post of the day. I vow I never intended to be so long-winded but I need to ventilate. I'm alone, had been alone and will be alone. It feels like imprisonment with only the four walls facing you everyday from dawn to dusk, with no humane apparition in sight. Even when there is someone at home, nobody talks, and it just makes me feel even more empty.

Somehow while I'm typing this, these lyrics kept rewinding like time - incessant, relentless, never-ending,

有时候有时候 我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候 没有什么会永垂不朽

but unfortunately, it got interrupted for awhile and became

There she goes, there she goes again, nagging, scolding me, and I just can't contain, this feeling that remains...

*有时不是我不明白，我以為倒著流眼淚，不經過臉不傷悲。现在想起来，真想 COL - CRY OUT LOUD，痛苦一场* T.T

心有余而力不足。遗憾，真是遗憾。。。