ELATED

YES! YES! YES! YQ sms-ed me! YQ sms-ed me! FINALLY!
WOOHOOOOOOOO~! I'M SO SO SO HAPPY!!! :D:D:D

Chocolate Age Finder

Mine's so accurate! How bout yours?

五月天 未來音樂故事

Expression Expressed

"I wish that we could be friends again. I miss your presence and our countless-hour talks that have been replaced with countless hours of awkward silence." -arianesantos

Tears & fears

刚刚在德士里听见958播出的“勇气”，真的勾起了好多回忆。有好多想说，想表达的话就因为这首歌，涌上了心头。

我活在这世上已经快二十一年了，也走过了好多风风雨雨，三分之一的生命就这样飘过了。

我做过了什么？我错过了什么？我想，只有自己知道吧。

最令我遗憾的也许只有一样吧 - 那就是友情。

想不相信真得有你们，但我长这么大，真正可以称为“好朋友”的，也许连一只手也数得完。外表看起来疯疯癫癫，嘻嘻哈哈，乐观开朗的我，原来也会遇到如此可悲的事情。就连一些原本能成为好朋友的人，都可能因为我的一些不正常的行为举止，或其他莫名其妙的缘故，突然跟我疏远了。

之前经历过第一次时，我只有自己猜想，或许是因为我的为人或品格太臭了，所以才会在较有时遇上了阻碍。我当时用了好一段时间才说服了自己，跌倒了要站起来。加上当时，大病在身，所以用了更长的时间，从中走了出来。

最近，也阴擦阳搓地遇上了一位非常谈得来的朋友。在和他交谈时，我感到很舒服，好像一位多年不见的朋友，能滔滔不绝地谈个不停。我因为上一次的经历，所以在交友方面有了防备，好不容易才决定让自己式着与他深交朋友，也告诉自己，这一次一定要用一个比较随行，为人讨好的一个态度，去对待这段友谊。一切都很顺利，直到一个月后吧，我或许是感情弄事，或希望能过找人诉苦，或是希望能够和好朋友一样，有所不谈，切磋或吸取意见，发简讯的次数也不知不觉地上升了。原本会回应的他，突然就不理不睬了，见面时也很难像刚认识是那样谈得来。我竭尽所能，希望使者找出原因，但还是失败了，得到的也只有沉默和空虚。

但我是一个非常珍惜，也害怕失去友谊的一人，所以也希望多做一些事情来弥补我可能犯过的过错，但也应为经历有限，所以无能为力。

唯一能做得也只是，在背后继续默默的支持他们，希望他们过得好，也为自己下定决心，以行动来证明，我真得很需要你们的。听到“勇气”是好希望有机会鼓起勇气，在电台或电视等，说出我的这番真心话，但我也不是什么大明星，所以也可能永远没这个机会。当然，我不能因此而放弃，就像我不能放弃你们和我之间的缘分一样，说一决定，在我入房睡觉前，能把想说的话记录下来，希望有机会时，能够把他表示和表达出来。

To V and YQ, if you ever see this, read this, heard of this somehow, someday, I really really hope to say a BIG SORRY to you guys that if, due to some clashes in views, misunderstandings or actions, I really hope to be friends, close friends with you guys again. I really have no other intentions or intentions in the first place to cause so much distress. I beg for your forgiveness. Give me some time to prove to you, to show you guys, who I really am, and not continue to let you guys to have any wrong impressions of me. I'm a human being too, I have emotions, and I do and still need your care and attention too. I will learn to be more understanding, more sensitive when dealing with issues, and make that a promise to you guys, because you guys are important to me, in each and every way. I'm really regretful for what had happened, and will do anything to amend for any mistakes, just to get our friendship back on track. Once again, I'm very, very sorry and remorseful. I don't mean to be an asshole, or a stalker but these are really words that I want to express.

Everything that I mean to say and explain, really, is

如果我的坚强任性 会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒 我虽然心太急 更害怕错过你

what the lyric is all about. I'm still thinking of you people, to be in my life again, to be friends again, if you can give me that chance. That is my pact to you guys.

God, please, hear me, hear my prayers, and let that day come soon. Amen.

Yours sincerely,
Eugene

why I think Hierarchy suck

Two years - All it takes

Two years ago,

at this very time,

I entered the greens,

I lost myself,

I lost friendship,

I lost love.


Two years later,

at this very time,

I'm out of the greens,

I still can't find myself,

I still can't find new friendship,

I'm still love-lost.


Two years from now,

at this very time,

I'm out of the greens,

Can I find myself?

Can I find new, lasting friendship?

Will I be with my true love?


No one has that answer, not myself either.

"谁自顾自地走 谁忘了看着我 谁让爱变沉重 谁忘了要给你温柔" - 孫燕姿 我懷念的

awakened

My words to you

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away? - Redwan Ali

wished you heard them.

Little miss er-herm

And so, Little Miss Act Cute went missing at a party - again. As usual, another lie was fabricated to cover up for her absence, by herself, as always to make herself seem sorry - again.

Dear People, wake up your ideas! You'll see through it soon. No one cries wolf for 3 times and expect others to buy it. Na na na pu pu~

痛

有些事情不要看得太清楚，其实是一件好事。
看得太清楚反而加倍心痛。。。

就让我沉迷在爱你的世界里吧，这样对彼此都好。。。

"Someone once told me, that you have to choose, what you win or lose, you can't have everything..." - Leona Lewis (Happy)

weird

it's weird how we can forgive our frens more easily most of the time than our family memebers.

it's weird how our frens understand us more than our family members.

and it's weird how friendship can be so fragile - one accidental spourt of nonsense and that's the end of it.

it's weird...................... and getting weirder as i ponder upon it.........

IRRATIONAL POST

Due to my immense boredom and mood that fell totally into the deep embassy, I went to do some web surfing and to my freaking horror, chanced upon someone else's webpage and found similar contents being "cut and paste" from my webpage and some friend's webpage.

And that someone actually went through Project Work in JC! F*ck.

I hate that. It totally irks me to know of someone who loves to copy and take whatever is on other's webpages and use it as her own stuff, only to change the actual name into an "Act cute" name to show how "cute" and "adorable" she is. It's a stupid not innocent act.

STOP PLAGIARIZING FOR GOODNESS SAKE. You're a grown up! Come 'on, have ur own set of thinking and stop acting innocent. We don't buy that.

For those who care

blinksoflife
I feel so much better now. :)

心有余而力不足

I don't know what's gotten into me but I'm back being all emo. Perhaps, it's bcos of the financial situation I'm in now. Perhaps, it's bcos I've got nothing better to do and my brain's rotting. Perhaps, it's bcos I told myself never to dream again becos fulfilling dreams are like investments, the more you invest in, the closer you get. But what if you don't have the means? Dreams will be just dreams.

Instead of being upset over having a dream, why not just give it up and conform to life? How bad can being like any other child in the street be? Eat, study, sleep, get a job, get married, retire and then wait for your time to come. Not having dreams would mean not having something that needs to be done and if you don't have to achieve it, it also means you'll leave this earth with regrets when time comes. Isn't that wonderful?

This is my 3rd post of the day. I vow I never intended to be so long-winded but I need to ventilate. I'm alone, had been alone and will be alone. It feels like imprisonment with only the four walls facing you everyday from dawn to dusk, with no humane apparition in sight. Even when there is someone at home, nobody talks, and it just makes me feel even more empty.

Somehow while I'm typing this, these lyrics kept rewinding like time - incessant, relentless, never-ending,

有时候有时候 我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候 没有什么会永垂不朽

but unfortunately, it got interrupted for awhile and became

There she goes, there she goes again, nagging, scolding me, and I just can't contain, this feeling that remains...

*有时不是我不明白，我以為倒著流眼淚，不經過臉不傷悲。现在想起来，真想 COL - CRY OUT LOUD，痛苦一场* T.T

心有余而力不足。遗憾，真是遗憾。。。

Bleed

Today is any "down" day. Why? I almost had a stitch on my right hand, had the cut been deeper. I shall let the pictures do the thousand words explanation.

There was no blood at first, just a dent mark. I gave it a rub and went on to do my work. Then, this happened:



The blood didn't stop oozing out even after I've applied pressure on the wound.


I was sent into a state of panic while I tried searching high and low for a piece of plaster or anything that I can get to cover up the wound until I see a doctor.

I rushed myself to the polyclinic since no one in the family actually cares whether I'm alive or dead, especially so after the quarrel. The nurse at the polyclinic got a shock when she saw my wound so she wrote a note to the counter staff to let me see the doctor first.

I had to wait for an hour since it was 1 pm and the doctors are all out for lunch. Fortunately, when I finally saw the doctor, he examined the cut and said that the bleeding stopped and that I was lucky because if the cut were a little deeper, he'd need to do a stitch on it but it also means that for the next few days, I'd have to clean the wound thoroughly and apply antibiotic cream everyday until it completely heals.


Somehow, I can feel this dark aura coming at me, signaling the start of something sinister this new year. As I was reading "The hounds of the Baskervilles" by Sir Authur Conan Doyle, this phrase seems to stick to my mind like glue and is repaeting itself like a spoilt radio when my skull is free of thoughts.

"I am concious of myself of a weight at my heart and a feeling of impending danger - ever present danger, which is more terrible because I am unable to define it." - Dr Watson

Perhaps, I'm just thinking too much.

吵架

原来和家人吵架后，得利的并不是自己，而是别人。相反的，自己得到的却是心如刀割，和忘不了的难受。T.T

HINT HINT NOT FUNNY

You trying to hint something...? What a joke. It's dumb to use such methods for confessions.

I know I promised not to visit that webpage again but I was too curious to wanna find out what exactly happened that led to that sudden outburst of messages... My bad!

childhood rememberance

Because everyone deserves to smile :)

Bad Day

Yesterday was a day of roller coaster ride. And this morning started equally bad either.

I met with a small accident yesterday morning. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. The vehicle I'm in actually knocked into the vehicle beside us. For us, the side mirror kinda bended, but for the other guy, his poor car got scratched. DAMMIT. We're still feeling f**king guilty about it. Had to settle the things that need to be settled, see the face that needed to be seen and hear the words that we had to swallow. DAMMIT.

And if you kinda know my character, the only way I can think of to ventilate my bad mood is to spend. And guess what, I spent $170 on a new pair of specs =.= I WANT MY MONEY BACK. F**K. And because of my bad insomnia for the past (2?) weeks, I got so fed up, I went to buy 2 f**king pillows, one at $39 each. DAMN.

Also, I kinda knew that there was an ORD function yesterday but no one actually informed me of the time and venue. Finally at 3, Ian gave me a call, asking me if I could attend. OF COURSE I COULD, but WHERE and WHEN? Turf City, 6pm. CRAP, HOW DO I GET THERE? I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE. And I was left with so little time to prepare. I rushed home, changed and ran out. I was already walking halfway to the train station when I realised I DIDN'T BRING CASH! I had to give my dad a call and see what can be done. Waited for him at the train station and by the time he came, it was already 5.30pm!

I kinda got fed up and took a cab down. OMFG. Throughout the entire taxi journey to Turf City, the taxi driver criticised everything about Singapore, from Singaporeans to the taxes to whatever, I wanted peace and I wasn't listening already! But he went on and on incessantly like bullets coming out from a machine gun.

I was already freaking pissed but he added oil to the flames that were building inside me. HE AT LEAST HAD ONE FILTHY HOKKEIN VOCABULARY IN EVERY FARKING SENTENCE HE SPOKE. The worse part was, I was caught in a jam from PIE all the way to Bukit Timah, even up till the outside of Turf City, there was a bloody big jam. I was wondering to myself what the ERPs were erected for since it didn't quite serve its purpose of regulating traffic. But anyway, that's not the main point. When the car in front crawled and stopped, KNNCCB came out of his mouth. When a car tried to overtake him, LJ came out. =.= WTF. I swear I wanted to strangle him, get out of the car and run my way to Turf City.

But nonetheless, the celebration was great! I just loved the seafood!!! Life once!! The prawns were damn SWEET, the Lala was GREAT and the crab was AWESOME. That sort of lifted my mood a little. And the best part that pulled me out of my bad mood was the picture taken with my Saviour! The best part was how they drank till everyone got kinda HIGH and drunk. Well, at least, almost drunk, except for a few. I hope they're okay now :S.

All in all, yesterday ended well until this morning. Because of the endless trash at home that needs to be cleared for CNY, my mother boomed at us. AGAIN. She meant well but I thought it was just so unpleasant to start a day with all those scoldings. Urgh. But lucky enough, somethings actually cheered me up so much, I'm in tears now. No, not sad tears lah~ Happy ones. :) I thought I'd just share this clip with my fans (you) and here's wishing you a memorable and joyful day ahead!